Making The Most Of FeedBack From Friends

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One great way to get valuable feedback on your book is to ask your friends and family to offer advice on how you can improve your precious words.

However, as tempting, and potentially valuable, friend feedback by can be, it is important that you guide to reader to offer the kind of advice that you can actually use in a constructive manner.

It is all too easy for friends and family to be too soft or too harsh in their views. It is your job to give the reader a framework on which that can structure their feedback. Here are some tips to help you get the most from a friend’s critique:

Give them permission to criticise:

Make it VERY clear from the outset that you are looking for bad, as well as good, feedback. Let your critique partner know that their critique will improve your book and give them permission to highlight any problems.

Explain what you want:

It may be clear to you what you need from a critique but it may not be clear to your critique partner. Before any reading takes place set out very clear critique guidelines. If you are looking for a proofread, make is very clear that all you require from the critique is your attention to be drawn to spelling and grammar errors. However, if you want the critique to go deeper then say so. Don’t be afraid of asking your critique partner to look for specific details. If you think a particular scene is weak or you are not sure about a certain character ask them to look at these things in particular detail.

‘I don’t like it’ is not good enough:

If the critique is to be of any value, then the feedback needs to be constructive. Make it clear to your critique partner that you need ‘framed’ feedback. If during their critique they say they don’t like a certain character find out why. Look for specifics and don’t be frightened to ask questions. If a critique just throws up comments like ‘the scene didn’t work’ then it is a wasted critique.

Be prepared to ignore:

Remember that it is your work. Don’t be too influenced by the critique. Every reader has personal tastes. If you feel strongly about a certain point then just ignore what the reader has said. However, you may ask a different critique partner to read your work and provide feedback on that one particular issue.

Get your head in the right place:

It is tough to hear negative feedback about your own work. However, if the critique is to be of value then you need to be Zen-like in your responce. Resist the temptation to go on the defensive and listen to the critique with an open mind.

If you have to explain then it’s time to rewrite:

A critique often throws up comments where the reader is confused by a certain section. If your reaction to the critique is to explain the context of what you have written then you are missing the point. If the reader can’t get everything from the words then you are missing something – after all you will not be there to explain to every reader who reads your book!

How do you get the most out of your friend feedback?

http://pointsonstyle.blogspot.com BJ Muntain

I think there’s a difference between a friend or family member and a critique partner. If the reader isn’t also a writer, you can’t expect the type of a critique a writer would give – a proofread, a deep critique.

The best thing about having a non-writer read your work is that they’re *not* trying to find something wrong or figure out what it is. They’ll tell you what any reader would: I like this scene because… I don’t like that character because… I wanted to stop reading there, because… This part was boring, but I liked it when…

After all, we write for readers. If a reader gets part way through the book and says he stops because he didn’t see anything was happening, it means something different than a writer telling you to cut down on the backstory. If a reader says he doesn’t see something the same way you do, it means just that. And, as you say, if the reader doesn’t ‘get’ something, and you need to explain it… that’s the cue that *you* missed something to tell the reader that.

How do I get the most from a friend’s (vs a writer friend’s) feedback? I ask for their general thoughts: what did they like, what didn’t they like, did they ever feel like stopping, was the ending satisfying? Then I narrow it down – what about the protagonist made you dislike him? Why did you want to stop at that particular place? What would they want to see in the ending, that wasn’t there?

Writers are wonderful critiquers. Readers, on the other hand, are readers. Both are indispensible when making sure your book is ready, but in different ways. Writers know the tools. Readers know the results. And it’s the results that count the most.

garysmailes

Thanks for the great comment. I always worry that by letting readers influence your writing, that you are writing for readers. I am a big fan of writers writing the ‘truth’. This may not be what a reader wants to hear, but for me an ‘untruthful’ writer is a waste of time. This is why I suggest you ‘frame’ the feedback from readers. Many writers want to hear that their book is good. This is just a waste of time, reader’s feedback needs to be specific and directed.

http://pointsonstyle.blogspot.com BJ Muntain

I think there's a difference between a friend or family member and a critique partner. If the reader isn't also a writer, you can't expect the type of a critique a writer would give – a proofread, a deep critique.

The best thing about having a non-writer read your work is that they're *not* trying to find something wrong or figure out what it is. They'll tell you what any reader would: I like this scene because… I don't like that character because… I wanted to stop reading there, because… This part was boring, but I liked it when…

After all, we write for readers. If a reader gets part way through the book and says he stops because he didn't see anything was happening, it means something different than a writer telling you to cut down on the backstory. If a reader says he doesn't see something the same way you do, it means just that. And, as you say, if the reader doesn't 'get' something, and you need to explain it… that's the cue that *you* missed something to tell the reader that.

How do I get the most from a friend's (vs a writer friend's) feedback? I ask for their general thoughts: what did they like, what didn't they like, did they ever feel like stopping, was the ending satisfying? Then I narrow it down – what about the protagonist made you dislike him? Why did you want to stop at that particular place? What would they want to see in the ending, that wasn't there?

Writers are wonderful critiquers. Readers, on the other hand, are readers. Both are indispensible when making sure your book is ready, but in different ways. Writers know the tools. Readers know the results. And it's the results that count the most.
http://childrenspublishing.blogspot.com ACP

I like that you had the guts to come up with constructive ways to use criticism from friends and family. Most people just say, don’t bother getting input from people who are close to you. I often find that family are my harshest critics, but my family has personality types all on that judging and logical side of the Meyer/Briggs scale. This is a much more productive approach, and it works for critique groups too. You have to set a context for what you want, or you aren’t going to get it. Hoping for praise is great, but telling them you are actively looking for ways to make the ms stronger is a great way to explore untapped layers and nuances even if the work is already good.

I also love your point about the explanations. As BJ said, we write for readers. Hopefully lots of them. So if one person out of a handful of readers is confused by something, chances are a lot of readers will also be confused. Overall, I thought BJ’s points were spot on, too.

garysmailes

I think you are correct that feedback from loved ones needs to be harnessed. My approach is to be very specific. If you ask them to read a chapter and say something like ‘do you think the speech is realistic,’ it frames the interaction and produces useful feedback.

Again, I would say that writing for readers brings with it problems. This said, I would suggest that writing for readers, and writing marketable work are two different things. I feel it is possible to maintain your ‘truth’ as a writer, whilst ensuring your work is likely to appeal firmly to a particular set of readers.

garysmailes

Thanks for the great comment. I always worry that by letting readers influence your writing, that you are writing for readers. I am a big fan of writers writing the 'truth'. This may not be what a reader wants to hear, but for me an 'untruthful' writer is a waste of time. This is why I suggest you 'frame' the feedback from readers. Many writers want to hear that their book is good. This is just a waste of time, reader's feedback needs to be specific and directed.
http://childrenspublishing.blogspot.com ACP

I like that you had the guts to come up with constructive ways to use criticism from friends and family. Most people just say, don't bother getting input from people who are close to you. I often find that family are my harshest critics, but my family has personality types all on that judging and logical side of the Meyer/Briggs scale. This is a much more productive approach, and it works for critique groups too. You have to set a context for what you want, or you aren't going to get it. Hoping for praise is great, but telling them you are actively looking for ways to make the ms stronger is a great way to explore untapped layers and nuances even if the work is already good.

I also love your point about the explanations. As BJ said, we write for readers. Hopefully lots of them. So if one person out of a handful of readers is confused by something, chances are a lot of readers will also be confused. Overall, I thought BJ's points were spot on, too.
garysmailes

I think you are correct that feedback from loved ones needs to be harnessed. My approach is to be very specific. If you ask them to read a chapter and say something like 'do you think the speech is realistic,' it frames the interaction and produces useful feedback.

Again, I would say that writing for readers brings with it problems. This said, I would suggest that writing for readers, and writing marketable work are two different things. I feel it is possible to maintain your 'truth' as a writer, whilst ensuring your work is likely to appeal firmly to a particular set of readers.
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