This post offers real advice on improving your book’s cover letter.
Yesterday, I asked writers to submit their cover letters and I would offer feedback for free. Book proposals are my thing. I have used the same principles as we apply to our client’s book proposals. These principles are outlined in this post called Writing a Book Proposal.
Born to be Brothers by Patrick Schulze
I have picked this cover letter because Patrick has made a classic cover letter slip up. We writers are, rightly, obsessed with a book’s plot and narrative and often fall into the trap of thinking that agents and publishers are looking for a cracking story. Though this is the case later down the line, at the first instance agents/publishers are looking for a PRODUCT they can sell. Your book proposal will consist of a cover letter, synopsis and extract. The synopsis and extract are the places to tell your story, the cover letter is the place to SELL your book.
In the days when a man’s word was his bond, Jak and Clay are bound to each other as brothers and lose their hearts to the same woman. Loving both men for different reasons, Kate chooses Clay. Despite her decision, the three remain as close as family until war threatens and the men must decide where their loyalties lie.
Jak, an orphan since youth has no family upon which to depend. As a young man attending a military academy he befriends Clay and the two form a close. During their first furlough they meet Kate and both vie for her hand. Though she chooses Clay, Jak will not allow her decision to dissolve their friendship.
Over the years, Clay and Kate marry and with Jak they build a comfortable home where he feels he has found the family so lacking in his life. Their life is marred only by Kate’s inability to conceive a child. When Fort Sumter is fired upon, the wedge of union shatters their brother’s bond and Clay forces Jak to leave. As he prepares to depart, Kate professes her love and asks Jak to take her with him. Despite the great temptation, Jak cannot betray his friend.
Years later on the night before a great battle, Kate pays Jak an unexpected visit. The lonely and protracted war has altered his sensibilities and he allows her to stay with him until dawn pushes back the night. That morning, Jak’s men are commanded to blunt an enemy assault and amid the thundering of both man and nature, Jak falls to enemy fire. With his last breaths, Jak leaves his effects, including his journal, to Kate.
With the war in the distant past, Kate watches her child playing outside. Only she knows it is Jak’s son who will one day receive his father’s diary.
This is a great summary of the narrative, but tells the agent/publisher nothing about the book as a product they can sell.
My advice to Patrick would be to condense all of this section to just one paragraph, which highlights the key aspects of the story and the main characters.
- What is the point of conflict?
- What do the characters have to do to overcome this conflict?
- What will happen if they fail to resolve the conflict?
The second paragraph should start to outline the potential readership and the book’s market. This paragraph would contain:
- The book’s genre,
- The book’s word count,
- An indication of the market with one or two representative titles,
- Notes of any images, illustrations or unusual requirements,
- An Indication if the book is written and if not when it will be finished.
I am working on my next novel, a story about women who fought during the American Civil War. I have also had articles printed in Williamsburg Living Magazine, I am a Civil War expert on Allexperts.com and have had numerous speaking engagements on the subject to my credit.
This is a great paragraph. I have come away understanding Patrick is a serious writer and an expert in his own field. I also suspect he has already established a following that may be willing to buy his books. I would, however, include a link to Patrick’s blog (which is here) and any other social media channels.
I am seeking representation for my completed historical novel of 102,000 words, Born to be Brothers. May I send you a copy of the manuscript?
The word count needs to be covered earlier as it is an important part of the pitch. There is no need to ask for representation or if the novel can be sent. If the agent is interested they will ask!
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
C. Patrick Schulze
So overall, this ticks some of the boxes. The cover letter shows Patrick can write, is an expert, has completed the novel and may have a network. However, it fails to outline any market detail. This makes it that little bit more difficult for the agent to say yes. They will now have to read the synopsis/extract to get a precise understanding of the book’s genre. Agents tend to represent certain types of book. If the book is not right for the agent, they will not say yes, no matter how well it is written.
Advert coming – feel free to stop reading!
This is just a taster of the kind of feedback BubbleCow’s Book Proposal service offers writers who are looking to get published. Our service provides a more interactive approach, where a writer is given feedback and is able to rewrite their cover letter and synopsis before we look and provide feedback for a second time. We also provide a reader’s report and detail feedback for the extract.